thanks to telegraph.co.uk

thanks to telegraph.co.uk

••

Do you remember when Nancy Pelosi said, “We have to pass it to find out what’s in it?”  That’s the dictionary definition of a Stool Sample…. Pretty well sums up Obamacare, doesn’t it?

••

To help save our economy, the Government will announce next week that the INS will start deporting seniors instead of illegals in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs.  A side benefit is that seniors are easier to catch and won’t remember how to find their way back home.

••

In case you are having a rough day, here’s a stress management technique recommended in psychological journals.     It really works and will make you smile.

1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream.

2. Picture yourself with both your hands dangling in the cool running water.
3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air.
4. No one knows your secret place.
5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the world.
6. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
7. The water is so clear that you can make out the face of the Congressman you are holding underwater.
(See it worked: You ARE smiling, and you feel better already – much better!)

••

“That means that no matter how we reform health care, we will keep this promise to the American people:  If you like your doctor, you will be able to keep your doctor, period.  If you like your health care plan, you’ll be able to keep your health care plan, period. No one will take it away, no matter what.” –  Barack Obama, in a speech to the American Medical Association on June 15, 2009.

“And if you like your insurance plan, you will keep it. No one will be able to take that away from you.  It hasn’t happened yet.  It won’t happen in the future.” – Obama, remarks in Portland, Ore., April 1, 2010, after the bill was signed into law.

This last joke was on all of us.  And it’s a cruel joke, not humor.

Advertisements